If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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