For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
where are you?
Hypothermia
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
