Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
