it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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