Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
