thus making me awesome and them whores
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
