i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
