So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
