y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
