There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
my nose is crying tears of wow.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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