Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
