i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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