Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
