i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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