I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
