If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im holly from the hills drunk
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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