Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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