Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
