why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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