Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
