There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
As shirtless as possible
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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