You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
