he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
