Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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