The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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