question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
