but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
