it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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