So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
