I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
