oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
