I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
