Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Ladies don't puke and tell
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
