Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
