I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
