I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
