I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
