I CAN MOONWALK!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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