Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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