I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I want you more than these girls want KFC
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
where are you?
Hypothermia
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
