that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
