Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
