You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
