How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
