Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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