UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
