you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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