they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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