I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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