I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
