If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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