Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
