I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
