I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The uberlube is also flammable
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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